We Can't Afford to Get a Divorce- Good or Bad?

There’s no doubt that the economic situation is causing couples to twice before divorcing. Anecdotally lawyers are seeing fewer divorces and states and counties are seeing reductions in divorce filings.

One study in 2006 showed that divorce drops a person’s wealth by 77 percent. In many cases divorce is not splitting a couple’s assets in half, it can reduce a couple’s wealth much more. The housing slump is also causing people to hang in there a little longer. Many couples have most of their savings tied up in their home and to sell it during a down turn in the market could be even more devastating.

According to experts like Dr. Scott Haltzman, Brown University Professor, the recession can actually work for couples who are struggling in the marriage. “Recessions force you to reassess your values and take a look at what’s important in your marriage.”

Money issues lead many couples to divorce. Yet because the economy is so bad, couples may be “forced” to live together and work out there problems versus looking at divorce to solve their problems.

Another question that couples need to ask is: Does Divorce solve all problems and Make People Happy? Findings from a Study of Unhappy Marriages conducted by the Institute for American Values found that:

-Unhappily married adults who divorce or separated were no happier, on average, than unhappily married adults who stayed married.

· Unhappy marriages were less common than unhappy

spouses. · Staying married did not typically trap

unhappy spouses in violent relationships.

· Two out of three unhappily married adults who

avoided divorce or separation ended up happily married

five years later.

Many couples are realizing that they can learn to deal with tough issues like conflicts over finances and money and that sometimes “hanging in there” is valuable.

Just because a couple is in deep pain doesn’t mean that they can’t turn their marriage around.

A bad marriage is not like fruit that has gone bad, it can be turned around. When couples slow down, get help with issues, learn new ways to manage problems, sticking it out can be a good thing even when you are forced to because of the bad economy.

If you cant afford to get a divorce, use this opportunity to make some changes. Go seek help even if your spouse will not. Work on your self, see what happens. A little space in time can be a good thing in the long run.