The EIGHT Essential Characteristics of a Healthy Marriage/ How to turn your marriage around
The EIGHT Essential Characteristics
of a Healthy Marriage:
• Both partners participate in the definition of the relationship
• There is a strong marital bond characterized by closeness
and autonomy
• Spouses are interested in each other’s thoughts
and feelings
• The expression of feelings is encouraged by a climate of safety
• Conflicts are discussed and resolved without damage
to the relationship
• Problem-solving skills are well developed
• The ability to deal with change and stress is well developed
• Most basic values are shared
(www.famli.us)
Couples who have more of these characteristics of course enjoy more strength, happiness and growth in their marriage. The fewer of these characteristics, the less positive outcomes.
A great exercise is to ask yourself:
How of many of these are present in our relationship?
Which are not?
Why?
Which one of these characteristics can I improve on this week?
In the book The Marriage Turnaround I ask readers to: "Remember, one of the best ways to start turning your marriage around is for you to start with you. When you change, it often has an incredible positive affect on your spouse. Then, you've got something to build on... hope, promise and a step in the right direction."
Mitch
of a Healthy Marriage:
• Both partners participate in the definition of the relationship
• There is a strong marital bond characterized by closeness
and autonomy
• Spouses are interested in each other’s thoughts
and feelings
• The expression of feelings is encouraged by a climate of safety
• Conflicts are discussed and resolved without damage
to the relationship
• Problem-solving skills are well developed
• The ability to deal with change and stress is well developed
• Most basic values are shared
(www.famli.us)
Couples who have more of these characteristics of course enjoy more strength, happiness and growth in their marriage. The fewer of these characteristics, the less positive outcomes.
A great exercise is to ask yourself:
How of many of these are present in our relationship?
Which are not?
Why?
Which one of these characteristics can I improve on this week?
In the book The Marriage Turnaround I ask readers to: "Remember, one of the best ways to start turning your marriage around is for you to start with you. When you change, it often has an incredible positive affect on your spouse. Then, you've got something to build on... hope, promise and a step in the right direction."
Mitch
Views: 2
Comment
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Comment by Bill Coffin on November 14, 2009 at 12:06pm -
Mitch
Let me offer the exact wording as it appears on pp106-111 in Disarming the Past: How an Intimate Relationship Can Heal Old Wounds by Jerry M Lewis,M.D.(1999)...
1. Power is shared
2. High levels of both connection and separateness prevail
3. There is respect for subjective reality
4. The expression of feelings is encouraged
5. The inevitable conflicts that do occur do not escalate or lead to despair.
6-8 as you have them above
I remember giving this list to Wade Horn in 2002 in addtion to David Mace's three essentials. Eventually Child Trends helped us define Healthy Marriage. http://www.childtrends.org/Files/CT_HealthyMarriage.pdf
Bill
Watch Video- Mitch Speaking on The Marriage Turnaround
Mitch Temple discusses his book The Marriage Turnaround with Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages , on his national radio show Building Relationships:
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