Marriage Expectations/ Myths

In The Marriage Turnaround I talk a great deal about unrealistic expectations. UE's can destroy a marriage quicker than anything I know of. If I expect my wife to change her tendancy to talk a great deal more than I do, after we get married, my expecations are unrealistic. If a wife expects her husband to be as affectionate, mindful and intune to her needs after marriage as before, that could be unrealistic. If our expectations are a mile high and reality sits at about "100 feet above sea level" you are going to be hurt, become resentful and find your marriage in constant conflict. The further our expectations are from the truth, reality, the more negative the outcomes in a marriage. The goal is make sure our expectations are based on truth/ are realistic and if not, change our expectations so they align better with reality. To read more, read through some of my posts on this site as well as chapters 2-6 in The Marriage Turnaround. Here's a great short list of unrealistic expecations.
Believe me, I nailed almost all of these early on in marriage. When I finally changed my expectations, it took pressure off Rhonda my wife and me. Our marriage began to flourish. Yours can too.

Mitch



It's Unrealistic to Expect that Your Spouse Will...

• Meet all your emotional, social, and emotional needs

• Make life interesting for you

• Like your family

• Have the same degree of interest in sex that you do

• Have a consistently intense level of feeling for you
throughout the years

• Have exactly the same spiritual needs and ways of meeting
those needs as you do


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Adapted from What if I Married the Wrong Person?
Copyright © 1996 by Dr. Richard E. Matteson & Janis Long Harris Published by Bethany House Publishers, Used with permission.