Loneliness and Isolation- A big problem in the communication age

Here's an interesting MediaPost study that recently came out. It underlines a huge problem in our culture today: loneliness and isolation. Isn’t it interesting that we live in the information/ communication technology age and yet we are more isolated and lonely than ever in our history? Read the article and then I’ll give a few tips to provide some practical ways to deal with loneliness.


“Loneliness and isolation peak for Moms with young kids (0 to 5) and older kids (14-18), indicating that transition times prove tough for both new and experienced Moms. For those with young kids, loneliness often occurs when Moms exit the traditional workforce, leave behind workplace friends, and transition to a new and potentially isolating life with infants and young children without the support of a familiar social structure.

In addition, feelings of isolation combine with financial anxiety when growing families learn to live on one income in today's shaky economy. Likewise, loneliness and isolation hit older Moms, whose role as the primary caregiver wanes as their high-school-age kids forge new independence and rely less on Moms for daily care and attention. Questions centering on "Now what?" and "What's Next?" abound from these Moms, as they identify their next chapter. Online friends and communities provide a crucial social network for both new and experienced Moms as they transition to the next phase in their lives.

• 55% feel their partner does not talk enough with them.

• 41% of Moms are loneliest when their child/children are 0 to 2 years, with 67% lonely during 0 to 5 years.

• 61% want to make new friends.

• Only 19% of Moms are raising their children in the community in which they were raised.

• Less than 50% live near family members.”


Here's a few tips on dealing with loneliness from my experience and counseling work through the years:

• Realize that after any major change in our life where common ties are broken, feelings of loneliness are normal. If you have just moved, changed jobs, stopped working fulltime or gone through a major loss like divorce or loosing a loved one, feeling alone will drift into your thinking and emotions. You will likely compare “the way things were” to how they are now and “miss” those times.
• Accept the changes and loss and work toward dealing with them in a healthy way. That may mean asking someone like a friend, pastor or counselor to walk with you to process the changes and the loneliness.
• Be intentional. Don’t wait for others to reach out to you. If you are feeling lonely or isolated you have to take the first step.
• Pick up the phone, call someone. Think of older folks in your neighborhood or church.
• Write emails to people you know.
• Connect with friends or others who may be going through the same thing via social networks.
• Go to church. Get involved. Join a small group bible study.
• Volunteer at your local hospital, nursing home, community center, airport or meal on wheels program. One of the best ways to combat loneliness is to reach out to those who are also feeling lonely and isolated.
• Let others know you are available for coffee, lunch breaks, card games, school fieldtrips, etc.
• Turn off the TV. Go outside. Take walks. Speak to people in your neighborhood.
• Join a local chapter of MOPS or other mom’s groups.
• Go visit relatives within driving distance.
• Tell your spouse you are feeling lonely. Don’t assume they know. Offer suggestions on how they can help: call you on breaks, send an email, meet you for lunch once a week, plan a date night once a month or bi weekly, and give you a few moments in the evening (after kids go to bed) to just listen and talk.
• Make sure depression is not in the picture. Depression can cause people to feel lonely even when they are not. If you are feeling down on a regular basis, sleeping or eating habits have changed, extreme moodiness, etc. Go visit your doctor. Have him check you for depression. Don’t assume “this is normal.” Rule depression out then work on being proactive to position yourself to move from lonely, isolated to involved, wanted, needed and connected.