Eric Beaty's Page

Money's a big thing, too. I'm the only one working. She draws disability for anxiety and depression and only works odd jobs (cutting hair, cleaning houses) once or twice a month. She's tried to apply for jobs but no one's hiring, and I honestly don't know if it would last once she got one. When we were together, I tried to give her between $30-$50 each week out of my paycheck for her to "live on" (she's always on this diet kick and has to have certain foods). I'm just at the end of my rope here. Any help would be appreciated. I don't feel like she's interested in saving us anymore. She doesn't seem to read any books on marriage like I have; she's even threatened going out on a date with someone else and always complains about the way I "treat" her, which to me is as vague an expression as you can get. I don't drink, do drugs, beat her or anything. I just don't know where to go from here. Thanks for taking the time to read this and for any help you can give.

Eric

Just going through lots of turmoil in my marriage. Separated and things seem to keep going downhill. I don't feel understood. I feel like I'm being demanded too much of; that my wife's expectations for me are too high. She keeps telling me to change (I like to play music, I'm in a Bluegrass band that meets once a week for practice, and I'm trying to make money by starting teaching guitar) but how can I change who I am if it's something I've done all my life. I don't want to stop playing music. I want to make time for both of us, but she always says how she gives up everything and I do nothing. She says I never put her first, but I try hard to. Between working every day from 11am-7:30 pm and us no longer living together, how am I supposed to compromise? I'm on the verge of giving up. The only reason I haven't yet is because I want things to work out. I'm a preacher and I don't believe in divorce unless the circumstances are dangerous. I don't know how to get through to her. I'm going to try and buy your book Marriage Turnaround when I can scrape up the money. I'm currently behind due to doctors bills and my car just quit on me after 5 years or so, so now I have car payments and I used half of my tax return for a repair I had to make on the new (used) car.