Don't Give Up!!!
At the end of March this year my wife came home and said she wanted a divorce. A week after that she called and told me that she had the divorce paperwork and that we needed to talk about how custody of our two kids was going to be and also what I wanted to do with my stuff that was in our house.
Two weeks after that I rededicated my life to Christ and His service. I prayed several times a day that my marriage would be restored and wouldn't you know it after about three days God started working on me and after awhile I got to a point where I simply said to myself "God can, God will, but even if He doesn't" just like the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego.
I purchased two books one was The Marriage Turnaround by Mitch Temple and The Exemplary Husband by Stuart Scott. Mitch's book was wonderful in showing me what I had to do before my marriage could even get to a point of restoration and also showed me how my attitude had affected my marriage. Stuart's book showed me my biblical responsibilities as a husband and did a great job of showing me exactly what God says is my responsibility as a husband there is no grey area God is really to the point in what He expects of us as husbands. Both books were very very helpful in changing me both as a husband and as a person.
Three weeks ago while I was out of state on business my wife sent me a txt message which simply said "God told me this morning that we need to go to counseling and work on our marriage, I don't want to, but I have to be obedient to God". I almost fainted!! During a lunch break from a meeting I checked my phone again and my wife and sent me another txt message which said "I can't promise anything and just so you know I don't at all want to work on our marriage or anything, but like I said God told me this is what I want you to do and if you do not then you're going against my Word and you'll be living a sinful life". Again I almost fainted.
Since I got back home from that business trip my wife and I have attended christian counseling and have begun reconnecting as a married couple. We have plans to attend one of Mitch's marriage intensives and also keep going to counseling. We have also started a marriage ministry at our home church, so that we can help other married couples that are facing divorce or just need encouragement.
I am by no means a marriage counselor or a marriage expert I can only share what worked for my marriage. You must pray, pray, pray, pray!! Turn your life over to Christ and serve Him! Concentrate on what you did to get your marriage in the situation that it's in not on changing your spouse or concentrating on what your spouse did to get it in the situation. Buy Mitch's book and read it and read it again and read it again. Attend one of Mitch's marriage intensives if you can.
Thank you Mitch very much for all your encouraging words to me, by not getting annoyed by all my emails and posts on here and thank you for your book it was a GREAT help!!
God Bless,
Cory
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Mitch Temple on -
Cory, this is wonderful news and a great breakthrough. Leverage your wife's willingness to try even if the feelings are not there yet. People are often motivated to work on their marriage for different reasons- Faith, beliefs, values, what other people will think, the affect a divorce will have on their kids, church reaction, social status, etc. Whatever the reason, these can be bridges to moving the marriage to where it needs to be emotionally, physically, spiritually and relationally.
Praise God for bridges. Use them, respect them, leverage them.
Mitch
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Permalink Reply by Alison K on -
Wow, amazing! I'm so glad that things are heading in a positive direction for you. Many things in your marriage are similar to mine. Thanks for being honest and sharing your story here. It gives me a little hope.
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Permalink Reply by Cory McDonald on -
Alison,
My family and I will be praying for you, your husband, and your marriage. Absolutely nothing is too big for our God. I now realize that God had work to do in me before my marriage could be restored. Keep your head up, turn your attention to God, and something that I learned from Mitch's book is we must work on what we brought to the table to get our marriage to the point where it was in trouble.
You don't have thank me for anything, it's an honor and privilege to share my story. My hope is that through my story God's glory will be shown. Keep your head up!!
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Permalink Reply by Alison K on
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Thanks for praying for us, Cory. I agree, I have a lot of work to do on myself and each challenge makes me more dependent on God and shows me areas to work on.
Cory McDonald said:Alison,
My family and I will be praying for you, your husband, and your marriage. Absolutely nothing is too big for our God. I now realize that God had work to do in me before my marriage could be restored. Keep your head up, turn your attention to God, and something that I learned from Mitch's book is we must work on what we brought to the table to get our marriage to the point where it was in trouble.
You don't have thank me for anything, it's an honor and privilege to share my story. My hope is that through my story God's glory will be shown. Keep your head up!!
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Permalink Reply by Pam Rickner on
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Thank you Cory for the encouragement! I have been standing for the restoration of my marriage for almost 3 years. I believe what God has promised He will perform. I have truly been transformed since my divorce. Definately God has taught me soooo many things!
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Permalink Reply by Cory McDonald on
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Pam,
My family and I are praying for you, your husband, and your marriage. I am encouraged by your faithfulness to your marriage and your courage to stand for your marriage. May God Bless you and your marriage.
Cory
Watch Video- Mitch Speaking on The Marriage Turnaround
Mitch Temple discusses his book The Marriage Turnaround with Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages , on his national radio show Building Relationships:
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